I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you never un-have a 4some
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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