drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
