I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Randomize
