I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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