so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
