I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
