He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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