Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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