Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
