when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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