my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
