She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
