i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
