girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
