i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
