yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
