id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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