What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
