I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
