so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Randomize
