When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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