Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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