About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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