Your dad touched me again.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
