she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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