oh god the rape fog is back!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
