they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
