so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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