remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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