am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
