I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
