Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
