You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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