We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
