He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Holy shit dude........stairs
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
