u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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