What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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