i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
