yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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