I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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