why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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