he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
