yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
