Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
