it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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