Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
