I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
