it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
