Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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