took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
