She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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