Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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