I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
